November the Ninth // PLAYLIST
Striking a balance between melancholy and wistfulness with this playlist, which basically sums up the emotional spectrum of autumn for me. It's finally the penultimate month of the year.
Typing this up on a Monday morning and all I can say for myself is I'm damn tired haha. I've got a mountain of things to do as per usual, but taking the time out to blog just because. Something to do with retaining my sense of sanity. My English ability is leaving me, wtf.
November is actually my favourite month of the year, not least because it's the month I was born in, haha. I've been impatient to wear layers since two months ago, but sweater weather just doesn't seem to exist in Hong Kong--at least not yet. By the looks of it, I'll be wearing shorts until December.
Oh, have I mentioned on here that this is the first autumn in eighteen (?) years that I haven't gone "back to school"? I remember being quite annoying about it in September. The life of a working adult isn't quite as glamourous as I'd hoped, but seeing as I've still got decades of it before, I figure there's no point in having a mid-life crisis just yet, ahha.
I've always identified with being an optimistic but it seems I've just grown more cynical over the years. Maybe it comes with age. I embody this contradiction between hoping for the better and being too fed up to care about the present. But you know, sometimes it's really not a bad thing to care, and to care a lot.
I guess that's what I've learned about myself in the past month. An autumnal realization, if you will. I originally wanted to insert some Northrop Frye-ish stuff about the cyclical symbolism of autumn because, you know, I'm an obnoxious literary academic like that (just kidding), but yeah, I think I'll end it here.
Oh, also, I don't know if it was entirely my intention, but I seem to have been showcasing a lot of my moody/somewhat-angsty sides on the blog lately, whoops. I'm generally a pretty happy person, okay? Or shall we say I'm easygoing? I'm fairly emotional, get frustrated sometimes, and laugh easily.
Anyways, I'm just adding this bit in to say I'm not unhappy with my life, quite the opposite in fact. I know I'm incredibly blessed to have what I do and though I might not be satisfied with everything (re: myself, lol), I know it's fully within my ability to be better and to be more. To have more muchness, I'd say, to use a Lewis Carrol-ism.
Enjoy, let's talk soon.